So, I searched up psychics within my area. I found a list of possibilities and selected one based upon reviews/recommendations and just convenience.

It’s hard to explain this. Because it’s not like I’m acting as paranormal investigators might, trying to find evidence of what does or does not objectively exist in this world. Because nothing really does on the physical level from the dominant perspective I’m choosing to adopt for now, you know?

I went in simply assuming the psychic would represent a disconnect in reality. Something that doesn’t match up.

It should also be mentioned that I wasn’t originally intending to see a psychic so soon. From what I’ve researched, most people involved in this stuff feel that anybody can develop psychic skills. In fact, most believe that everyone already has them. It’s just another skill set to be developed if one so chooses. Some people have natural talents, sure- But it doesn’t really come down to exclusivity or anything like that. That’s something I didn’t know outside of it.

Anyway, coming at this from a skeptic’s perspective, I had to justify that it was just a good mental exercise. And I still believe that on that level. The focus wasn’t on generating proof originally. It was more that I knew then (and still know now) that I could have better control of my mind. Others have said that they can adopt and drop beliefs with great benefits and no disadvantages. I wanted that too.

Of course, while I was trying to work through these things myself, I realized that I had some huge roadblocks in my mind. Really, if you come from a perspective that psychics don’t have any powers, that all the ones that claim it are either lying or crazy . . . If you come from that perspective, you can’t just pay for a reading, walk in, and be unbiased.

I mean, I would have claimed to have been unbiased about it before . . . But I wasn’t really capable of it.

So I knew I couldn’t expect much. I went in feeling that the experience would serve as a reflection of how well my mind was trained. And what I really wanted to do was build this “intuition” thing people keep talking about.

So I made an hour long Saturday afternoon appointment.

She was an older woman who had been doing readings for over sixty years. ((One’s inner skeptic says here, “Someone working that long is bound to be a good judge of character and an expert MANIPULATOR.” I promise you. I’ve been that skeptic for several years. I could come up with way more arguments against these experiences than most people reading this.))

I was hoping to find someone who didn’t use tools so much. However, I decided to go ahead and give in. By “tools,” I mean that she works with lots of things like tarot cards, love cards, regular 52 deck cards, numerology, etc. Coming from the subjective focus . . . Those things have no objective value. Their effectiveness comes with a person’s belief in them, just as this psychic’s efficiency is to be an indicator of my own ability to cultivate inner belief. That’s all.

She did number stuff and told me my lucky number was seven. She did regular card stuff and told me my special card was the four of clubs. Apparently, purple is the particular color for me which would bring out my psychic abilities. As well as the mineral amethyst.

She started off that stuff to become familiar with me.

It’s a little hard to remember everything as I wasn’t invested in it. Apparently, I will have three kids, but they’ll all be boys. If I want a girl, I would have to have five kids so I might as well stop at two and adopt. I can believe that that would have been the truth right then, but nothing is written in stone. Things like this mean nothing.

She brought up work. That I’m not being paid as much as I deserve. That I want money, not because I want to be rich but because I want FREEDOM. She said that very loudly and put her hands up. The skeptic side says she’s being dramatic, putting on a show. Interestingly enough, she used an exact phrase that I had thought before. But, again, that’s a pretty general statement.

I was there to learn to develop intuition.

She was interested in my love life. I had a person of interest but not a boyfriend. She evaluated that with tarot. He and I were both very honest with each other, true. Sex is amazing, true. How will it turn out? She pulls out the devil card . . . “hmm, you’ll decide what to do there.” Hee hee. I looked it up later and several different (but fair) meanings apply.

One of the first things she asked about him was, “does he have a job?” That was strange.

I was very adamant about some things. She gave me shit for blocking her. She told me to speak up, and that I talk in a quiet voice for attention. I’ve thought that before. She also gave me shit for not being assertive about things. My “maybe I like him.” My “kinda” worrying about my parents.

She eventually kept talking about how I was interesting. That I didn’t really care about work, love, or family, that I was happy.

She asked me before some of this what I wanted to know. I said plainly that I had been really hyper analytical and wanted to tone that down. Then we went through some more of the usual questions . . .

It was strange that I was expecting a disconnect with her and got it sometimes. Some times I would say something and it was like she didn’t hear me. She said my card was the 4 of clubs, but it looked like she wrote down 7 of clubs on her little notes.

Here’s something strange: She asked me what my nationality was. I said I was a mutt: half some mixture of “white” that I wasn’t quite sure of, and half-Navajo, an American Indian tribe. She asked where we were and I was like, “kind of the four corners area. Some of the land is in Utah, some in New Mexico. Most is in Arizona.” She said, “Where is that?”
Me, “Huh?”
“Where is Arizona?”
“Uh, it’s right South of us. Shares a border with Utah. Some of the tribe’s land is in southern Utah.”
“I know southern Utah. Arizona isn’t near it.”

I just was kind of stunned by what the hell she was saying but we moved on. Then later she mentioned having lived in southern Utah. Why would she act like Arizona was somewhere else completely? Especially if she lived closer to there?

The skeptic would say, “She’s OLD. Or CRAZY. WTF?” The half subjective side is also going, “WTF?” The full subjective side is, ” . . . I guess that would be a strong representation of the disconnect you’re feeling. She might just happen to be old-appearing in your reality so that your skeptical side could have a way out. p.s. WTF?”

She mentioned that meditation is a great way of building intuition as she was pulling out some cards dealing with Kabbalah. She asked me if I knew anything about that. I said no. She left the room and came back with a little hot pink address book. Searching for a name, she gave me a number, “He works on the radio, but I’ll give you his home number. You don’t want to call him on air. He’ll teach you about meditation. Just call him and ask about the class, say you heard about it from me.”

She proposed a test of my psychic abilities. She would pull out the top ten cards and I would hold my hand over them and guess what each color was. I got four correct in a row. Missed one. Second guessed an impulse and missed another. Got three more correct and another mistake.

I told her the several times when I saw the card before she laid it down.

In all, seven out of ten cards correct. I should have gotten eight but I hesitated. And yet, another disconnect, she said I got nine right and had substantial ability. Is this or the Arizona thing more confusing? Old and crazy? Manipulative? No answer.

More card filler stuff . . . I like animals. I have a sweet spirit. My animal is the wolf. I will be a wonderful loving mother who will be an excellent teacher for her children.

As we were going through these cards, she said to me, “I’ll keep letting you run this.”

That threw me off. It wasn’t until a few days later that I was thinking about it and realized that she had originally told me to shuffle things at first and put the top cards down. Eventually, she would spread the deck of cards and have me put my hand over them and select the right ones myself. That transitioned in such a flowing way that I didn’t catch onto it while there.

At the end, I ended up chatting with just her a bit about her animal (the cat) and what that meant. Then I had the urge to get outta there. Ten minutes early. She reminded me to call that man and check out that class. I was slow leaving, gathering all my stuff. She teased me as I left, asking me, “Have you got everything?” “Uh, yeah . . .” “Yourself?”

Ha.

There’s other things in here that will come up later. Overall, I give my ability to believe (as evidenced by her perception,) a 60%. I think a few months ago, as the hardcore skeptic, that would have been at 30%.

I dealt with another psychic more recently, but I think I’ll first discuss my experiences at that class. Next up for Zas’s Exploration of the Paranormal: [2] Energy Healing, Mystical Kaballah, and The Placebo Effect